Joan’s journey

 Auntie Joan, our director in Children Ministry, has come back!! To say she has gone through a lot is an understatement. I’m so grateful that she is sharing her journey with all of us – a journey that shows God’s mercy and grace; His protection and guidance…..  

 Joan’s journey  

“We are all lifetime learners and it does not matter how old we are, there are still many lessons for us to learn.  In each experience we face in life, whether it is joyful or painful, there is always a nugget of truth in there.  In the past 4 years God definitely has been teaching me some hard lessons and to say the least, it has been a long arduous semester in the School of God:  

In December of 2017, I was involved in a traumatizing accident which ended with a three month stress leave and weeks of therapy. Even though I was cleared after the investigation I was plunged in a nightmare for the next three and half years. I was told that I was one unlucky woman who was at the wrong place and at the wrong time.  Over the following years my mental and physical health had suffered immensely because of the stress.  Finally after what seemed to be an endless legal battle, in mid-June of 2021 I was able to close this dark chapter of my life and breathe a sigh of relief.  However this feeling was short-lived for early in July during a routine screening the doctor delivered a life-threatening diagnosis.  The doctor found a cancerous mass in my colon and it did not look good!  

This was not the first time I faced cancer, for I had lost a few members of my immediate family to this horrible disease and had witnessed their sufferings during their battles.  My first concern was not about death, as a Christian I know death is not the end but the beginning of something new.  I was more concern about my family, especially having experienced the pain of losing loved ones from this disease, I wanted to shield my family from this pain.

 After I shared the news with the church staff, they immediately mobilized the church to pray for me. For it is a natural response for us to call upon God in face of despair and also a privilege for us to go to the throne of Grace.   That is one major reason why we all need to be part of a church community, as we are not meant to be lone wolves and need to be connected to others of the same mind.  I am extremely grateful for the prayers lifted up on my behalf and I could feel the power of prayer throughout this journey.   I would not have been able to survive this storm without the support of prayers from my church community. 

 I never truly understood what cancer patients had to endure until I became one.  My emotions were like a never ending roller coaster: the intense anxieties as I waited for tests and results with the uncertainties that came along with them.  The numerous consultations with doctors and specialists who only succeeded to tell me how bad the situation was…. It was the most grueling battle I had to face in my life!  The only source of relief was found in prayers, and in the beginning I had prayed earnestly to my Father, but after a while I found myself at a loss of words.   I had experienced  different ways of how my prayers had been answered, and I knew in my heart that prayers is not a way to get God to grant me wishes, He is not my genie in the bottle but a sovereign God who sees and knows all things. 

I recalled this verse from Romans 8:26

”In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

”I knew I had to let go and let the Spirit of God guide me in prayers. He knows what I need and not what I want.  Prayers is not to ask God to change the situation, but for Him to change the one who prays, it is to have a mind of God and to surrender to it.  I eventually concluded that the most important thing to ask was His grace and mercy for me and my family, and for us to experience Him in a powerful way.  I also prayed for my intercessors, that their faith might be strengthened through their prayers.

 During the last few months I daily experienced His sufficient grace. For every step of the way I could see His hand on me.  He had sent His angels to comfort me in the most unexpected situations.  For example, two days before my colostomy, I had to go to the hospital for some pre-surgical procedure, when the nurse who took personal information from me found out where I work, she said, “that’s great! You know Who is on your side! “It was such an affirmation from God!

 "When you pass through the waters
I will be with you;
And when you pass through the rivers.
They will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, You will not be burned;
The flames will not set you ablaze,
For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior..."   

 This verse is a precious promise which I held on tightly during the times when I was depressed, and my Father often lifted me up with His words and encouragements from people, they were my life line during the times when I was drowning in my fears and worries. The most unforgettable experience was the morning of the surgery: I had a sleepless night and was extremely nervous and scare as I mentally prepare to face the 7 plus hour surgery with the possibilities of complications.  The moment I was wheeled into the room, I instantly felt this warmth around me, and there was this peace in my heart-- the kind that is described in the Bible as one which transcends all understanding.  I knew without a doubt that God was in that room and He was right beside me holding my hand during the next hours.  

 I am so very grateful that the surgery was a success and the doctor was able to remove all cancer.  The outcome was much better than he had expected. Now 6 months later I am fully recovered and back on the saddle.   I am blessed not only because of my health but how He had shown Himself in such a mighty way. 

 As I emerged from this storm, I can say with conviction that He truly is my rock and salvation, my refuge and fortress and I will not be shaken.  At times of great anxieties within me His consolation had brought me joy.  When I felt overwhelmed by the chaos in life, I could experience His peace because of what Jesus had done on the cross and had made it possible for me to experience God.  I have learned that true peace happens only when I have complete confidence in God's ability to meet my needs in any good or bad situations.  It is when I willingly trust His promises and not let the situation cloud my ability to do so. 

 Now the storm is calmed and I eventually resurfaced, I had survived the trial and gained attributes that I never have acquired on my own. Trials and storms are not something we welcome but there is always hope beyond them, for I have learned that -

Trials are challenges of life that test our faith and develop perseverance;
Every storm is a school;
Every trial is a test;
Every experience is an education;
Every difficulty is for our development…. 

 May God bless you all as you continue your adventure with God!”